Grief comes - but the heart will survive!

Grief over a break-up is so darn rough! I hate the way I still feel sad! I guess it's harder to lose someone that you truly love....Anyway, I'm starting to move forward. I'm looking to move overseas again. I'm going to see where the wind will blow me! I'm looking at Scotland right now, but if the school in Paris has openings and wants me...I'd move in less than a heartbeat!

I have a friend who is looking at doing this, too. We talked about how it would be interesting if we were able to work at the same school. Anyway - grief and saddness makes you do so many different things. I guess it was a good thing to come home. I now know that the man I fell in love with is incapable of giving me more (you know, commitment!) And so now I can move forward and go on with life. It's still hard! I have my nights where I just cry...I hate that, but I guess it's a necessary thing to know that my heart is still able to love....I've not shut it off...at least I'm trying not to do so....

Old Students

Wondering if I'll see any of my former students tomorrow. I'm subbing at a middle school in the town I used to teach in. Depending on the grade I have tomorrow...I may see some of my kids. They would be 6th, 7th, and 8th this year. Huh...wonder if I'll recognize them. Wonder if they'll remember me. Gosh...how weird. I don't even know if any of them are still in the valley, and I'm worried that they may not remember me.

And if they do remember me, I certainly hope they remember me with happy thoughts. I wouldn't want them to remember me being a bitchy teacher...although sometimes I was. Depended on the kid and what they were up to. But...crazy thoughts! I know.

I'll try to let you know if there were any good memories shared or not. I do know that most of the kids in these groups were ones I liked. There may be a few that I had a hard time with...but they could already be in high school. The years start to mesh together.

There is one girl I'd love to see. I remember her year completely. And what she went through that year. It was heart-breaking...I'd just love to see her and see how she's turned out.

Saga

Sorry I've been gone for so long. It's been a crazy time. My computer went kaput! I ordered a battery thinking that was the problem. But then it wasn't. I thought that the power source was the problem then, but that didn't work out. So...I ended up with a whole new computer. But...that was just way more than I wanted to be spending for the moment. Hopefully it will all be taken care of.

I have now put in for subbing at two different private schools and the main district out here. I hope to be getting some jobs soon. That would be nice. A check would be fabulous.

Anyway....and then to top it all off, I got a letter from a collection agency asking for money that I do not owe. It is apparently from the storage unit company I had used while in Germany. I had paid for that unit in full for the 2 yrs. I left it clean and didn't owe them any money. I didn't get any letters from the storage unit company asking for money. I have only gotten something from this collection agency. They didn't even tell why I owe money. Ugh! I have sent them a letter disputing the claim. I hope they actually look into th claim. But they probably won't and then I'll have to deal with more crazy stuff. Ugh!

Ok...enough of that. It's depressing. I'm just trying to prepare myself for what might be.

Happy Labor Day Weekend all! Have a great one!

Unhealthy eating....

So....this weekend was spent unpacking and putting things together as well as eating a ton of crap food. I can't believe that I spent all of my day yesterday eating....fast food, then cookies, then cookie dough. It was horrible. I felt like such a slob!

Ok, so today was a bit better. I ate a bit healthier and unpacked a bit more. If I do say so myself, my house is starting to come around. Things are starting to look more homier. But....it's still a long ways from done.

I've spoken to my good friend on the phone and that was nice. It's always great to hear his voice. I just hope that we get the chance to see one another soon. It's been far too long since I've seen his smilin' face!

Well, that's about it for today. I hope to add more later on this week. Here is my new "used" car that I got last week. It's been so fun driving around. I like it. I just now hope that I'll get a call from the principal I spoke with last week and, hopefully, get an offer to work at that school.

Knotted all up!

Ok, so I've had a crazy weekend....packing and cleaning and getting in "last" looks of my lovely German Village. I've been sad, happy, excited, and sad all over again. Now I'm waiting to see if I got the job I interviewed for last Monday. Sometimes I hate being on a 9 hour time difference!

I look at my email and....nothing....my tummy is completely knotted up. I'm nervous. I hope that I got it. It would fill the rest of my summer with relief!

I guess I should just chill out and be patient. The last time I was feeling like this was when I was in London waiting to see if I got the 2nd interview. I ended up having a fairly prophetic dream....the principal telling me "Of course we want you to work for us!" Or it was something like that. I wonder if I should wait and see if I get another prophetic dream....UGH!!! I. Do. Not. Like. To. Wait. Patience is SOOOOOO not a virtue of mine. I keep hoping it will miraculously become a virtue but, alas, it hasn't happened. Although I suppose sometimes I'm more patient than I used to be.

So I decided to sit down and blog about this moment. I am hoping that I can say how happy I am tomorrow....Because hopefully I can say that I will have a job tomorrow.

Ok, so, I'm trying to have faith and think positively and all! I. Can. Do. This. Be patient that is. Or at the very least, I can try!

Goodbyes are rough

So today was the last day of school....WHOOHOO!!! However with that came the goodbyes to colleagues and friends that have been wonderful and fantastic over the past two years.

I was good with my kids...I usually am. Then my room parents gave me this book with all the kids pictures and something they had said about me. I almost lost it then. It was crazy. Then when we sent the kiddos to their parents, I saw a few of my parents from last year and I tried to hold it together, but I couldn't. I gave the one parent a hug and the tears just flowed down. It was so crazy. Then I saw another parent from last year and that set me off again. And a parent from this year. Leaving is hard...change is hard...saying goodbye is painful! I had to say goodbye to the woman I have been working with very closely for two years....It was so hard. I did fine until I walked away....And now, just writing about it, I'm tearing up!

When I hugged my assistant principal goodbye I lost it as well. She's been so nice and wonderful over the past two years. One of the best administrators I've had. Thankfully the major person that I WILL have to say goodbye to didn't need to happen today. Too many people...parents, friends, colleagues, students....Not. Fun.

I'm happy that school is over and that I can move onto something bigger and better! But....these were a bunch of people that were just amazing to work with! I cannot have asked for a better group of people to work with and become friends with.

Thankfully we've already set up a reunion in two years....Australia! I can save up for that one, and I'm looking forward to it.

I know that my really hard goodbye is yet to come. And I'm so not wanting that one to happen. But at least Martine and I have a few more days together before all that occurs. It will be heartbreaking, but....I know that we'll see each other again and keep in contact over the years!

So...here's to a fabulous two years in Germany! I have loved it! I can't believe that it's coming to a close!

Skype

Yep, so I had my 2nd interview this evening for a great job that would be perfect! I would love to teach in this school. It's opening up its doors this Sept. and the curriculum is what I've been doing for the past two years, as well as it being a duel immersion German/English school...I have just a little bit of experience with the German....Can't speak a lot but, I can speak some...

So the interview was over Skype....if you've never used Skype, it's pretty cool. It's basically a computer to computer phone call, but you can have video viewing options. So....way back when we were younger and people used to say that one day you could be talking to someone on the the phone and see them....well now you can. It's crazy!

I had the interview with the principal and five of the board members who are parents for the school. Crazy!!! But I hope it went well. We will see in a week's time one way or the other.

Fingers crossed that this went well. It would be a fabulous opportunity to go into this school. And not only that, I could finally relax. Knowing I have a job at home will be nice and I could then just focus on the rest of the things I need to do. Like moving!!!

Only 3 1/2 more days of school. I cannot believe that it's finally here. How crazy is that? You wish for this day after New Year's to arrive and then it shows up, almost out of the blue...Friday is going to be a mega sad day....lot's of really cool people that I'll be saying goodbye to! Ugh! I hate goodbyes!

Waiting

Waiting and being patient is difficult for me. So are many other things, but waiting is really hard. I am currently waiting for a girl to come and stay with me for 2 nights. I don't know her. She's going to be teaching at my school next year and is checking it out a bit. She didn't want to get a hotel room, and so I offered my place.

Our HR person is supposed to have brought her to my friends apt that she's going to be talked into taking over and then over here by 7:00 I thought. But it's now 8:00 and I haven't heard anything about where they are or anything. I'm hoping that by now, they've made it to my friend's house.

Anyway....another beautiful day in Naurod! And HOT! I can't believe that we went from 5 cold months to a pretty much 90 degree day. And in a school with no AC. Ugh! My classroom faces the afternoon sun and that whole wall is a wall of windows. Where that is a very good thing when it is winter, it is not so much fun in the summer. I had no lights on, the shades were down, the fan was blowing, but....it didn't help much with the coolness factor.

Don't get me wrong....I enjoyed the fact that it was nice and all, I'm just not prepared when there's no AC! Especially after going from needed jackets one day to needing to be in a tank top the next.

Ok, still waiting....I'll try to be patient, but it's going to start getting really bad here soon! I like to be in the know, and I'm not in the know at the moment. Where was the phone call to say, "hey, sorry, but we're running late. We'll be there around 9:00."

*photo is from when I was first moving into my classroom so it's a bit of a shambles....

Interview time

So, I have my first interview tonight...I'm nervous. It's for a school I worked at before, but that doesn't mean I'm in yet. It's for a different type of position so....I just hope that it all goes well.

I've been trying to do some research and think of things that can help me, but...until I actually get into the interview and start talking with everyone....I won't know. OY VAY!!!

I. AM. NERVOUS. The butterflies are starting in the tummy....wish me luck!!!